Advice: Do not be a victim of DWC

I never can figure out how i get into these messes. I'm not ADD, I swear. If I was I would have taken full advantage of it in college to take my sweet ass time with tests. But my odd form of forgetting that, oh i dunno, the bruschetta that you posted about being so fucking easy is in the oven on broil after it was toasted and then garliced up and cheese added and with like 20 minutes before guests are going to show up.Or maybe how many glasses of wine I've had while cooking and then getting side tracked by E!'s Real Hollywood Story of Brit Brit's melt down (who did not see that coming?!) and forgetting I am waiting for a sauce to reduce and YAY! I get burnt ass chicken in a nice non-stick pan over sticky rice.

Bastards I tell you.

Now, I love a cocktail just as much as the next recovering college graduate. But there are times and places for them. A Big glass of wine is just fine while you are cooking or maybe a nice vodka tonic or 3. But never, should you start taking shots while cooking. Unless you'll be serving that food in the next like 15 minutes.

Being a victim of DWC, drinking while cooking, is never good. One you just ruined a perfectly good meal and two, well unless its a big holiday do you really have a reason to get bombed while roasting a chicken?

Oh fuck it. We all want a drink. I want a drink right now and it's only 2:08pm. I get excited about happy hour dates when I get up the morning of. Booze and cooking will always go hand in hand BUT be careful...

Victims of DWC:

It's white wine sauce, not white wine.... Looking like an alcoholic is never fun. No one wants the next party they go to to be an intervention. When it says a cup, don't add two to give it more of a white wine taste... add 1/4 a cup a few minutes before serving.

Mommy's Hiccups mean she loves you... Little Joey's birthday is tomorrow and being super mom with juggling your full time career and running a house while your lump for a husband sits on the couch relaxing because he's had a "bad day" you forgot to make the cupcakes for his class because you don't send him to a pussy school that says cupcakes are bad for kids (pussies I tell you!) and oh look it's 10pm and there are 24 kids who want a tastey treat... No one wants to have to explain to Lil' joey that mommy has a "problem" and that's why they are taking him out of her care for taking burbon cupcakes to school. (but the kids really loved them and really, the uppers in sugar and downers in booze would mellow kids out wonderfully!)

Happy Holidays!... No one likes their family, at least not their ENTIRE family. But no one wants to have to eat burnt turkey and pretend it's good. Save the drink and belitting comments for the meal, it's more fun that way.

I have an Eating Disorder, I binge but never purge... It's 2 am. you have a frozen pizza just calling for you. You've also had 8 mixed drinks, 4 shooters, and flashed a co-worker, plus while 8 minutes isn't that much time, it's just enough for your drunk ass you pass out and not smell the burning flames of pizza until an hour later when a fireman is pulling from your apartment in just panties, your heels, and a tshirt.



Just, leave the drunk cooking to the guys at IHOP.